We've got this!

 

We are the 90's kids

We are the millennials

But most of all,we are a seriously messed up generation.

We are stuck in the simple past, the high paced present and the unbelievably dynamic and questionable future

Most of are breaking our backs in the same mundane yet safe professions-engineers,doctors and bankers etc but suddenly the world around us has become cut throat competitive and incredibly pretentious.

We have this constant urge to hustle-for more money,for better designations and therefore leading to a better sense of respect and admiration.

Not that ambition is objectionable but the imposition of an unreasonable and expected level of ambition as a form of general acceptance in society-that's objectionable.

We as a generation have tonnes of emotional baggage being stuck with choosing the defined way most of our parents found partners and then love or going the modern way of finding love followed by a partnership.

We have years of conditioning,biases and generational traumas to top it all up.

We are continuously trying to please-sometimes our own egos feeding our ambitions or sometimes the society at large.

Quite a lot of us are now spouses and parents now-still figuring out what it means to stay abreast with the needs and demands of our newly assumed roles.

During all of this,some of us slow down,take a pause or maybe even break down.

And that's okay,trust me its fine.

It's fine till the time we know that it's what we need in life for ourselves,what makes us feel better and not trapped in this cage of expectations to live a certain defined way by the society.

Because happiness should not come in the end of the checklist we seem to have created for ourselves to live life as per the expected norms. 

And, I hope we understand this in each of our lives before it's too late.

We are the 90's kids

We are the millennials

We are a truly fucked up tribe.

But you know what?

We are okay!

We've got this!

Killing Eve

 

I just finished watching all the three seasons of this series yesterday and I must say, Phoebe Waller-

Bridge (Fleabag fame) has not disappointed being the head writer of season one and one of the executive producers of this show. The concept is old but has a fresh air to it by introducing women lead protagonists. The queer angle to it is the perfect icing on the cake and works well by adding novelty to the otherwise “usual mouse and cat chase” plot.

What is impressive is how they have dealt with the background story of all the major characters

including the cold blooded serial killer/assassin Villanelle played spectacularly by the English actress

Jodie Comer and the focused MI6 agent Eve played by the wonderful Sandra Oh (Grey’s Anatomy fame).

Jodie Comer has done such a brilliant job whether it is her funny punches, accents or looking dead

straight in the eye lacking any sense of empathy, it makes you to dread her as well as want to be friends

with her at the same time. I haven’t seen very often such range of expressions and it’s an absolute

delight to watch her even while she’s murdering her targets brutally onscreen. She’s dressed stylishly

living the “hippy life” in fancy apartments in Paris and Barcelona, travelling all across Europe as a paid

killer for “The Twelve” making it all seem somehow cool yet ghastly.

I honestly just had eyes for her in the entire series and Jodie Comer is undoubtedly the star of the series.

I would want to see more of her in different characters and roles ahead. I somehow feel it would be nice

to see Andrew Scott (Jim Moriarty in BBC’s Sherlock and the hot priest in Fleabag fame) and

Jodie Comer together onscreen.

Sandra Oh is consistent and has given a sincere performance as the dedicated MI6 agent who later gets

obsessed with catching Villanelle and eventually just gets obsessed with the entire idea and persona of

villanelle. The chemistry between the two is steamy and sizzling and towards the end you kind of start rooting for them to end up together romantically as well.

The other characters worth mentioning are those of Konstantin played by Kim Bodina and Carolyn

played by Fiona Shaw.Both have done justice to their parts. Especially striking is the relationship between

Konstantin (Villanelle’s handler for The Twelve and mentor) and Villanelle which makes you to think that

you can be close to someone and care about them yet not trust them. Fiona Shaw’s portrayal of a coveted and respected MI6 agent Carolyn who takes her work more seriously than her personal relationships including that with her children Kenny and Geraldine is well balanced and to the point.

Interestingly all the three seasons of the series have different head writers, each of them being females.The head writers have written all their characters especially the female ones whether its Villanelle, Eve, Carolyn or even Dasha (another of Villanelle’s handler for The Twelve and former mentor) played by Harriet Walter with a certain nuance giving them multiple layers. You can clearly witness very different sides of the same person and yet be convinced that these layers are not imposed unnecessarily and infact seem natural.

Personally for me, it left me with a message as Eve says to Villanelle in the end “I think we all have

monsters inside of us, it’s just that most people manage to keep theirs hidden.”

Yeh daur

ये कैसा दौर आ रहा
क्यों सृष्टि रुष्ट हो रही
क्यों धरती है यूँ रो रही
अबोध जानवर भी क्यों
मानवता में विश्वास खो रही

यह कैसा दौर आ रहा
महामारी का प्रकोप है गहरा रहा
प्रवासी कामगार भी ,विवष हुआ घबरा रहा
क्यों धरती इतना कपकपा रही
किस आकस्मिक घटना की ओर चिता रही

क्यों चक्रवात है आ रहा
घरों ,खेतों को यूँ अपने में समा रहा
क्यों टिड्डियाँ यूँ मंडरा रहीं
विध्वंस्ता का राग गा रहीं

यह कैसा दौर है आ रहा
क्यों वातावरण में मची है त्राही
क्यों डरे सहमे से  चार दीवारी  में बैठे हैं राही
क्या कलयुग का अंत है आ रहा ?

यह कैसा दौर है आ रहा
क्या कल्की सामने आएगा
इन विषमताओं से शरण दिलाएगा
या अंत है यह किसी अंतहीन समय का
या मानव कुकर्मो का निष्कर्ष यह

क्या फिर एक मौका मिल पायेगा ?
क्या फिर एक नया दौर आएगा ?
जब मनुष्य मानवता पूर्ण पुनः कहलाया जायेगा। 

Dear Father...

Mellow lies I tell myself each time
Hushing the voice inside
As memories strike,sleepless nights
Farewell my father, bidding you goodbye.

Losing a love, unconditional love,a love one of a kind
Coming to terms with the truth,it's not just a dream anymore
With a heavy heart,maybe a broken one too
Farewell my father, bidding you goodbye.

I hope you knew you were always loved, especially by me
I hope you knew you were always respected by anyone and everyone who knew you
I wish there was a way to tell you that you will always be in our memories.
Farewell my father, bidding you goodbye...now and forever...

Happiness

Don't you wonder at some point, about happiness?

But what is happiness after all?

Some say its a state of mind, others say its a feeling divine, rest say its a way of life.

I say happiness is a hot cup of tea watching the winter sun arrives.

Happiness is curling in your bed with nothing specific on your mind.

Happiness is kindness with all you might.

A kind smile, a friendly talk or a nod of understanding benign.

A gentle hug or a funny shrug.

A walk at dusk or a puppy's yawn.

A baby's gaze or a  room full of book shelves maze.

A broken heart picking up its pieces, ready to heal; ready to feel.

A song or a movie that made you laugh or even cry in joy or in nostalgia

Happiness is coming home after a long tiring day at work to the people that make you feel at home.

Happiness is finding home in people and clinging on to them no matter what.

So don't go out about looking for your perfect idea of happiness.

Happiness is simply what you want happiness to be...

Justice for humanity

Her spirit as wild as the horses she led,

Her soul pure and free full of gentle innocence

Beyond the norms of the world

Beyond the knowledge of right and wrong or good or bad

She knew no religion and cetainly nothing about the brutality she would be subjected to

Tender as a livid drop of mist on the rose petal

The girl with a chaste glow on her face and with those big serene eyes

May you find peace in heaven little girl,because Earth has been far too cruel to you,cruel beyond words

May you find comfort beyond the seven skies where "God" lives

The same "God"in whose name we fight and satisfy our political agendas and reason out our insanity.

And if that "God" does really exist,may justice for you and for humanity prevail.

चाँद पे ले चलो यार मेरे 

नदियों का झिलमिल पानी 

ये सुनहरे बादलों की सेज पे सवार 

ले चलो कहीं दूर यार मेरे। 

भीगे पत्तों से टपकता बारिश का पानी 

मिट्टी की सौंधी खुशबू महकाती हर सांस को 

सूरज ढलने को है राज़ी 

चाँद पे ले चलो यार मेरे। 

तारों से करेंगे पहेलियाँ 

सपनों से करेंगे यारी 

धीरे से रात कट जाएगी यह 

पलकें होंगी भारी भारी 

चाँद पे ले चलो यार मेरे। 

खेलेंगे ख़यालो से लुका छुपी 

फुरसत की गठरी रख कर सर पे 

कर लो तैयारी यार मेरे 

चाँद पे ले चलो यार मेरे। 

Note: These lines are inspired by the song "Indian Summer" by Jai Wolf.

The End of the F***ing World

So I just ended up watching an entire  8 episode series in one sitting. It’s named as “End of the F***ing World”. The series is a teenage drama but it stayed with me all along the entire time I watched it, so much so that I wrote this little piece right after I ended up watching the last and the final episode of this Netflix original drama.

This is not a spoiler neither does this write up qualifies entirely to be a review of the show.So assume,its neither a spoiler nor a review . Today was one of my low days. You know some of those few days when you feel you just want to leave everything and probably don’t have a plan for a  little while or maybe just don’t do anything at all. Well I was technically working from home and I did try to finish up some pending work but this show just stuck with me and I couldn’t stop once I started watching it.

Two teenagers ,uprooted family backgrounds, the guy supposedly a psychopath and the girl with unresolved anger. All of it sounds like a sad and a gloomy drama. It was more than that about the show which made it unique and compelling enough for me to pen down my thoughts about it.How two unknown people with similar backgrounds come close to each other and save each other is the underlying theme of the plot all through the entire show. The soundtrack of the show is also to look out for.

I guess we all need a James or an Alyssa in our lives after all right?Someone to save us from the world and from ourselves when things sometimes don't seem to work out the way you wanted or thought of.Someone to cuddle with in the middle of the night.Someone to help you feel things and feelings you never felt or you though you could never feel.Someone to feel free with and to be truly yourself with at the same time.James and Alyssa make an intriguing,weirdly odd yet a comfortable couple who tend to grow on you over time during the course of the show.I loved the show and though I said earlier,this is not a review but I would definitely recommend watching this one.

Ps: Do listen to the song “Hard feelings” by Lorde with editing of certain memorable scenes of the show and the track “Laughing on the outside” by Bernadette Carrol once you are done watching the show

￰शबनम से नाज़ुक उसकी  हथेलियों की गर्माहट को महसूस  तो किया पर उसकी आँखों मैं वह इखलास  ना दिखा  जो  किसी ज़माने  मैं हुआ  करता  था .
वक़्त  ने  कुछ इस कदर  महरूम  किया
जब खाना बदोश  फिरते  थे  उसकी तलाश  में
उसने अपने ज़ेहन  से हमारे  मरासिम  को कुछ ऐसा  दरकिनार  किया ...
अब  पाके  भी उसको  खो  सा  चुका हूँ  मैं  .....

Optimists vs Pessimists

The optimist

Isn't it  joyful?                                                                              

How our grandparents and parents are aging so gracefully.

The once famous couple of our class are now happily married and parents to not one but two lovely children.

While some of us are okay taking smaller steps in life and enjoying the marvels of technology by watching some of the best shows created by the talented minds of entertainment industry.

Work is getting more challenging.

Bosses are getting involved more than before.

Dimmer vision can be corrected by a single surgery.

Medical advancements for hair treatments and a younger and fuller skin

Life is more organised, more scheduled and more disciplined.

This dicipline culminates to the monthly credit messages in the account which pays the EMI's and the bills.

Salaries are more and more is always better isint it?

Newer phones and newer dresses

Now "New" is the constant .

People laugh,explore,enjoy and they share all that on the social media.

It helps you connect,imagine,explore and broaden your horizon to experience something different and varied.

This "so called race" is not a race.It's a journey where each one is allowed to have their own pace.You can walk fast or you can walk slow but the motive is to keep on walking because stopping is not what is appreciated.Stopping is giving up.Would you like to give up on life just like that?

Definations of happiness have changes but essence remains the same

Times gets tougher but tough makes you stronger

Memories getting shorter but livelier.

Life forcing you to not just be alive  but also to live life.

Experience things,emotions,places,people like never before like our forefathers couldn't and embrace the uncertainties with courage and defiance

Life completes a full circle.

The pessimist

Isn't it sad?

How our parents and grandparents are getting older 

The once proclaimed school lovers in our class are now parents to two children

While some of us are still busy binge watching the latest season of the "over-hyped" television series over the weekend

Deadlines at work getting stiffer

Bosses turning bossier

Vision turning dimmer

Receding hairlines and that deadly day of spotting the first strand of grey hair

Hitting the gym,hitting the shower,eat and in the car

The 12 hours of corporate slavery which ends up in your bank account at the end of the month.

The new iPhone, the new dress

 A new chaos and a new mess

That friend on the Facebook with a BMW

And that one with a posh bunglow

Or the one who takes a vacation to exotic locations every year

The ones who calm down and put their feet down are left behind...

This race this great competitive human race of defeating each other leads us to different destinations...

It leaves some of us on to the heights of the corporate ladders where the ambitious exhilaration gives them pleasure

The others who are unable to balance on this ladder either fall down and succumb to the injuries while those

 

ahead don't even turn back to give them a helping hand and those who do get the helping hand pull those so called helpers down to go ahead...

The time moved faster than anything in this world 

Memories get shorter

Times get tougher

And those ahead in this mad race find themselves left alone for once in life.

Life takes two half circles.

है आरज़ूओं की कश्ती मेरी हिचकोले खा रही ,

बस सुकून की आस थी दिल में दबी। 

अब आये हो आंखों में प्यार लेके ,लंबे इंतेज़ार के बाद 

सुकून या जुनून की है ये आस दबी दिल में ,में समझ न सकी। 

किसी पुरानी गज़ल में सुना था ,

किसी पुरानी गज़ल में सुना था ,

"रंजिश ही सही ,दिल दुखने के लिए आ ,आ फिर से मुझे छोड़ जाने के लिए आ। "

खफा हो तो भले पल भर के लिए दूर चले जाना ,

लेकिन आये हो तो छोड़ जाने की बात ज़ेहन में भी न लाना। 

रंजिश तो बैरो से करते हैं ,आये तो अपना बनाने के लिए आ। 

इस नादां  दिल की हर खता पे ,

दिल दुखने के लिए नहीं ,दिल अपनाने के लिए आ। 

Draupadi

भ्रमाण्ड जहाँ ,विस्तार वहाँ 

थी द्वापर युग की यह नारी। 

शालीन थी वो ,मूरत अत्यंत  सुन्दरता की ,कहलाती थी वो पांचाली। 

द्रौपदी जनि ,हुई लौ से उत्पन्न 

आई थी करने कुरु वंश का नाश। 

भर के औरत्व की आभा सारी ,पांच पतियों की थी प्यारी,

परन्तु पतियों ने बाटी इसकी लज्जा सारी।

सरेआम हुआ था चीरहरण ,

कान्हा की परम सखी ,ली कान्हा की शरण। 

मन से था प्रेम अर्जुन से अपार ,

कर दिया था उसने कर्ण को इंकार। 

रंग रूप और अभिमान  तो थे  उसके चरित्र के बस कुछ  अंश ,बनी पांच पुत्रो की वह माता 

अनसुनी सी ,अनकही सी थी उसकी गाथा। 

Yeh saal...2015..!

गैरों से घिरना कभी पसंद ना था ,आज अपनो से मिलना भी थोड़ा अजीब सा लगता है। 

अकेलेपन में  ना जाने क्यों मुझे सुकून सा मिलता है। 

खुद से बातें करने वालो को लोग पागल समझा करते हैं ,

खुद से  बातें करना ,यूँ  पन्नों पे खुद को शब्दों में समेट लेना  अच्छा  सा लगता है। 

जो पल तन्हाई के लगते थे बेगाने ,आज उन पलों को हथेलियों में सहेजना सीख लिया मैंने। 

कोई चाहने वाला मिल  जाये ,इस खोज में कब खुद को इस कदर चाहने लगी 

क़ि खुद की चाहत में किसी का खलल अब सही सा  नहीं लगता । 

यह साल आज बीत जायेगा ,एक नयी उमंग के साथ नया साल खड़ा है मेरी चौखट पर 

दुसरो के साथ जीने की ख्वाइश से ज्यादा ,खुद  जीना सीख सा लिया है मैंने। 

Mask

Amidst the smile, those sparkling eyes

There’s is a facade, a hollow she hides

Those twinkling eyes, that sublime laugh

How tears spelled, how torn apart

Amidst that modesty, concealed in her graceful demeanor

Those loveless nights, that lonely plight

How complete she looked, yet how empty from inside

These deceptions we carry, faces do lie

How heart swells up, and tears stream out

Yet those lips purse and give a smile

Face is a mask, to obscure the hidden fading sunshine

भीड़ में साथी अक्सर मिल जाते हैं
सफर में हमराही टकरा जाते हैं
सर उठा के देखा जब मैंने जमात में
कोई गैर ना मिला अनजाने ही साथ में।

फूलों की लाज ,सुगंध भरी
ले बुन लाया में एक माला
बस तू दिखी उस मेह्खाने में
और खींचा  चला आया में मधुशाला।

हाथों में लिये जज़्बातों की कतरन
बेहेकतें हैं जब जज़्बात ,ये हाथ भी ना जाने क्यों बेहक जातें हैं।


लम्हे ,घड़ियाँ ,साल तो कभी अरसे निकल जाते हैं
कहने को लफ्ज़ नहीं रहते
पर आँखों की ज़ुबाँ ही कुछ अलग होती है
कहते हैं अल्फाज़ो से ज्यादा बातें आँखों से होती हैं।

Ek suni raat...

एक सूनी रात का अँधेरा था ,

रेशम सी चाँद की रौशनी छन के आ रही थी जैसे। 

कोने में जल रही भीनी लौ की नर्माहट ,

तुम्हारे पास होने का एहसास  सा  दिला  रही थी। 

 रातेँ तो कई बीती हैं पहले भी 

पर वो रात खासी अधूरी थी ,

आँखों में आज हलकी नमी थी ,दिलों में दूरी थी। 

उस सुनी रात के अंधेरे में ,

चाँद भी ढलने को आ रहा था अब। 

नींद की एक  छोटी सी बूँद भी आँखों में गिरने ना पायी थी 

झरोखे से झाका तो चाँद को भी अधूरा पाया।

 झिलमिलाती रौशनी में अपने आप को समझाया , कभी हम भी पूरे हुआ करते थे। 

बस तुम और तुम्हारी याद सताये जा रही थी 

वो भी क्या रात थी ,वो भी क्या याद थी। 

Love

Love-A four letter simple word, but is it as simple as it spells?

 A mother hiding her true relation with her daughter, dumping her on her ailing old parents to look after and take care of in order to pursue her other interests ,being deeply ambitious and blinded by ambition finally murdering her own daughter.

Youngsters today are scared of commitment. Spending a good amount of time with someone only to leave that someone ...why? Because they don’t think they want to get into the hassle of being in a serious committed relationship. Because being emotional today is not the right thing to do move ahead in life and of course all this at the pretext of building one’s career or different priorities in life.

Siblings parting ways because of differences in terms of social stature, money or minor misunderstandings which pave way for rifts thereby breaking a relationship which is supposed to be one of the most strong and beautiful relation.

Best of friends backstabbing each other, becoming jealous of each other’s success and accomplishment and parting ways eventually.

Parents being left alone by their own children citing lack of time, convenience, career aspirations or other priorities as excuses.

These are just few examples of many weird things which are happening in our world right now. Not that I am extremely emotional to vent out all this and even if I am it’s something I am really proud of. But has love become so insignificant in this world that we breach the limits of humanity and leave the people who are supposed to be the closest to us for things which are actually insignificant. I am not saying one’s career is not important or one should not take up one’s ambition in life but is it not important to give love back to the people who actually deserve it. It’s just a feeling we need to reciprocate back. All we need to do is to muster the courage to accept the people around us the way they are.

Love blooms everywhere, we only need to nurture it wherever we can. Is forgiving so hard that we choose to remain enclosed in the walls we have built around us, lonely and alone rather than breaking those walls and making a gesture. I think it’s definitely something to think about and ponder on.

Barish...

है प्रेम भरी सौगात ये ,

यह है ईश्वर की अश्रु धारा 

ये बारिश की भीनी बूँदें 

ना भटके कोई प्यासा आवारा। 

बहुत हुआ अब छिपना छुपाना 

है प्रीत मिलन की सुहानी 

मत घबरा बस पहुंच जा 

जा लिख दे अपनी प्रेम कहानी। 

कब तक देखता रहेगा उसे बेसबर 

बारिश की रिमझिम में हो दो दिल तत्पर। 

वर्षा की आह में भीग रही है वो ,

प्यार के बीजो का आज रोपड़ हो। 

है प्रेम भरी सौगात ये ,

यह है ईश्वर की अश्रु धारा 

कह दे अपने हृदय की बात 

क्यों है तेरा दिल उस पे हारा। 

Starry sky..

Under the starry sky,

She saw a moment,he saw a chance.

She saw emotions,he saw wild passion

She felt his magical touch,he found her touch electrifying.

She lost herself but found him,he carefully wandered and swept her off

She saw love,he saw lust

She saw his beautiful heart,he saw her beautiful body

Her eyes teared in happiness,his eyes watered in pleasure

She missed the darkness hidden in his bright eyes,he saw her gleaming eyes lit up

Under the starry sky

It was a beginning for her,something ended for him....

For the simple joy of writing...

I was once asked,"Do you like dancing?".Well,I don't know literally but I do like dancing figuratively.I love the way my pen dances on a white sheet of paper leaving ink marks and forming words,sometimes abrupt other times meaningless.Sometimes forming sentences which are so deep that they might seem meaningless at a glance.I love the way my expressions,my emotions come out through the motion of my pen on the paper.Just by the mere movement of my hand spilling not only the ink but also my thoughts on that plain white sheet of paper.Well this one for the simple joy of writing....:)