A peep within myself

                I have been feeling a lot of things from the past few days.Feelings ranging from loneliness and sadness sometimes to panic at others.Sometimes I felt fully charged up and enthusiastic but moments later I felt homesick,nostalgic or maybe fear gripped.
                I thought as though my life was just running away,running way ahead,beyond my control.It was as if  I have lost the reins of my life,everything was moving so fast pushing me behind ,I competing against time.There was a queer turmoil within my mind.It was as if I intended so much to do,so much to achieve,but time was slipping away from my hands.
                I came across a book named."Life is what you make it" a fiction novel by an Indian author,Preeti Shenoy.I instantly liked the book when I glanced the first page which had a beautiful inspiring poem.I identified with the lead female protagonist of the book who was exactly of my age.I was deeply engrossed in the book and now when I am about to finish the book,I realized a lot of important things.
               Firstly,Life is short and undecided indeed but yes you can steer the life's path according to your own terms and in your direction just by pure determination,faith and self-confidence.Just remember,"You are the captain of your soul and master of your own fate".
               Secondly,appreciate the gift of your precious life and the people associated with you.Don't expect too much from people,they are there to make our lives easier but not to lead our own life.They can help us out but cannot live our life for us.It's we who have to fight back,our own way.Whatever we get from God of from our well wishers,we should learn to accept it graciously without being selfish and wanting more.
                Lastly,live life your own way.Don't let anyone in this world overpower you and make decisions for you.Trust your own instincts and learn from your own mistakes.So think wisely,live it,dream it and love it.

Those were the days.......back then!!

Life was so simple back then.

I hiding behind my mother and she sheilding me from all my fears.

I used to lose my toys and books back then,but now life seems to have lost its track somehow.

All I used to worry about was my torn clothes,sprained ankles and bruised knee,now I worry about my hopes and dreams ,struggling to sustain them.

My world used to revolve around my mother,her glimpse easing and erasing all my pain.But the world has become bigger now and pain even more intense.

My mother wiping off the tears from my rosy little cheeks,bringing back the shine in my eyes and the smile on my face.The lines of anziety and stress now crisscross my forehead,the smile has diminished,the softness of my mother’s hand does not seem to fix things up.

My slow staggering steps,my mother keeping a watchful eye on me,ushering me to move ahead steadily.Her words were so magical back then,they still are but the path has become more difficult and challenging now.

I remember my mother telling me that I’ll be amazed when I’ll grow up.Yes,things amaze me now when I've grown up.

People were not so complex as they are now.

Life was so simple back then.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquered soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody,but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of shade,
And yet menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

 


(I found these lines written by William Ernest Henley very inspiring and really close to my heart so here it is on my blog.)

The chicken's tale!!

Have you ever seen the plight in my eyes?
The fear of death,I counting my each breath.
Have you ever seen my terrified expression?
The sight of humans disgusts me.
Not that it  really matters to you,but have you  ever seen the way I despise you?
You feed me,raising my hopes about life,
and then one day,you wipe out my existence,it all comes to an end for us by the strike of your brutal knife.
My other counterparts,flap their wings and hop up and down their cage,
but that just the beginning stage.
It comes to all of us,one by one,striking us down,
without any fault and no justice around.
We pray for our lives each time,but still we get punished for some unknown crime.
One day I wish you humans will suffer and endure pain,
because you know its always a reverse chain.
You sow what you reap,its not always a gain,
My prayers will surely be not in vain.

kuch kisse dil ke.....

Kitna khoya,itna soya sa ye lamha aaj kyoon hai?
Chahe jitne bulbule khud uda lo,do pal khulke kyun na muskura lo,theri theri si kahani aaj kyoon hai?
Dhadakte dil ki chahe jitni awaaze sun lo,
yeh toh apni hi dhun mein na jaane aaj kyoon mast hai?
Awara panchi ki rahen aaj kyoon gum hain?
Kuch karo,kuch suno,yun na sust tum raho
Kyunki yeh poori zindagaani lage ki aaj kam hai.........

Turning 21......

Each time I'll fall behind,
I'll muster my courage, strengthen my mind.
Each time I'll stumble upon a rock,
I'll get up again and clear all block.
Each time the scorching sun rays make me blind,
I'll gather my will,nothing can stop me,no difficulties of any kind.
Each time I'll see darkness and nothing bright,
the fire within me will guide,I'll definitely find light.
Each time my spirits will go down,
I'll still sustain my hope and will never frown.
Each time a tear will roll from my eyes,
I'll encourage myself,look you covered so many miles.
Each time I'll fail,
the ship of my confidence,in the bellowing sea,will continue to sail.
Each time the wind will sway my ship to and fro,
I'll become stronger,I'll grow.
Each time I'll feel that things are not fine,
I'll rise,determined to shine.
Each time I'll bear pain,
I''ll never forget,there's always sunshine after rain.
I'll learn from life,from instances which may seem juvenile,
Each time I'll restore my faith and promise I'll always smile.

The history exam

Let’s look into the conversation of two class 9^th students who have a history exam just after Republic day.

Boy 1-Mangesh,Boy 2-Mohit, Taklu-The bald history teacher, Mr  Ravi Karmarkar, Champion-The class topper, Varun, Miss  Chikni-The pretty English teacher, Miss Rosie Gonsalves

Boy1 calls up Boy2 on republic day at 9 am.

Boy 1-Hello, hey dude wassup?? What took u so long to answer my call??

Boy 2- (sleepily) Bro, it’s a holiday and what makes you think that I would be awake at 9 am in the morning??In spite of it being Miss chikni’s lecture I am not able to keep my eyes wide open if she takes up the first lecture in school.

Boy1-yeah yeah, I know that pretty well. But ever since that Taklu has declared an exam, I have not been able to close my eyes Buddy!! Seriously! I hate History and he has given 5 chapters for the exam, The Indian freedom struggle…..it’s so boring..!!

Boy2-Oh Fuck!!I almost forgot about the exam tomorrow. Oh I just wish Taklu rot’s in hell yaar, seriously!!I thought on 26^th I will hang around with my building friends or probably catch a movie. It’s the only day when all of them will be free, no swimming classes; no guitar classes and no tuitions to attend.

Boy1-hmm, that’s true….I have my tuitions even on Sundays yaar. Anyways how much have you studied till now?

Boy2-Yaar I had started with Gandhi’s  umm umm…I just  can’t remember the name of the struggle yaar….yes yes Gandhi’s Satyagrah andolan  in my tuition some days back and it’s so boring that when my sir was reading the text through the book, I was checking out my sir’s  cute daughter, who also studies with us. God she is soo pretty….and she looks totally hot when she tries to concentrate.

Boy1-Dude wake up, I just called up Champion, he has finished almost 3 chapters and he said that its really difficult. If it’s difficult for him, you just  think about our fate!!I am telling you, we’re totally screwed. I haven’t started studying properly yet and I am panicking now. Let’s strategize now and study. You know that very well that Taklu makes everyone sits according to their roll numbers during any exam, and dude your roll number is just next to mine. So let’s bang on each other. You do some portion and I will do some of it. say what?

Boy2-ok ok, I generally don’t freak out, but now you are scaring me. Ok let’s go through the contents one by one now.

Boy1- Listen up to me now. Champion was telling me that Gandhi is very important. A full 10marks essay type question is expected to come on his life and contributions in India’s freedom struggle .It’s  a full2-3 page answer in taklu’s notes but my tuition sir made it simpler for me. I have it in just 1 and a half page. I will mug that up and come.

Boy2-ohk cool. My tuition sir just made me write short notes on Civil disobedience movement and Simon commission. I think that’s also important for exam point of view. Taklu was shouting about its importance in some lecture. I vaguely remember that I heard him saying its really important.

Boy1-  ohk done. Let’s split the other important topics as well now. You will be doing the Quit India movement, khilafat   movement and Dandi March  and I will do the Non-cooperation movement and Partion  of India.

Boy2-dude, that’s unfair!!You gave me 3 topics and you yourself will be studying just two?? What about Nehru, Tilak and the rest of the other stupid fighters. I can’t remember their names also as of now.

Boy1-OK !! I will study the other freedom fighters. Now happy??.Ok fine let’s start studying now .keep in touch and let me know when you   are done with all the topics. Hope our strategy works. How can anyone study all of it alone man?? Yeah except for aliens like champion.

Boy2-seriously bro, the syllabus is vast. Lets pray we both pass the exam. Co-operation  and mutual help will make us pass this struggle. I am just waiting  for the moment  when we are done with history. It’s so brutal. We have it in class 10^th as well and its worse. They have comparative study between Gandhi and Nehru and other fighters. Who the hell cares  what these morons did some 60 years back? We should look beyond now. anyways, all the best  buddy!!

Boy1-I seriously agree with you dude. Gandhi is the worst of them all. He did so much and it’s so difficult to remember what all stupidity he did. All the best to you as well my friend. Catch you later now.

He hangs up the phone.